A man walks into a bar. He has a beer and then goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

An American, a German, and a Mexican walk quickly into a room. They were late for a work meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you stop a black man from bleeding? You give him a bandaid. What if he keeps crying? Tell him to stop. What if he cries more? Buy him an ostrich.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

wanna here a joke? you.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

the anti-joke.com joke was just like a normal joke. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A hairy monster walks into a bar. It was halloween.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What has wheels and is green all over? Grass... I was just kidding about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What do you call a blonde that just bought a new car? A: Carol

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the man turn up at his friend's funeral dressed as Mickey Mouse? Because it would have been disrespectful not to attend.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Micheal jackson had half a pie, Fred had the other half of the pie, They both shared a pie.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why couldn't the mexican make a taco? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you get when you mix a dog and a fish? A hot fillet.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What a wonderful life!!! *gunshot*

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your mother is so fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops