a man walks into a bar several people leave as they can see the potential danger in the situation. - the man (also so known as a hippo) was Matt Ross

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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why did the bus hit the kid? he dropped his ice cream.

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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What's green and says I'm a frog? A talking frog

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Q. Why couldn't the blind black guy read. A. He's Dead

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What's Red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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A teacher tells one of her students, "If I say 'I am beautiful', which tense is that?" The student tells her, "Didn't your mother ever tell you that lying is bad?"

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my grandpa has the heart of a lion, and a permanent ban to the zoo.

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roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers and the middle one is for u

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What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

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what do you get with a bulldog and a shi-tzhu 2 dogs.

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What do Sylvia Plath and a cake have in common? Nothing.

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Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: He got hit by an axe.

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WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

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Q. whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I dont jump on my trampoline with metal cleats.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is hard to know things like that.

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LeBron James: Kobe, i got a ring will you stop making fun of me? Kobe Bryant: Yes Kobe and Michael Jordan: LeBron asked if he gets a ring if we'll stop making fun of him LeBron James: Hey Kobe why didn't you answer when i called? Kobe Bryant: Sorry, I only heard it ring once

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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What's better than seeing a Detroit Lions game? Not being in Detroit.

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Don't you hate when you finger your belly button and your nipples exploed?

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How does a printer work? You plug it in.

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How many juice does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops