If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? Because that would be assault, and not only assault but aggravated assault, since you are using a weapon to do it. Plus, the lawyer would have an advantage over you in court during the trial, due to having a law degree.

what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

Hitler.. Hitlar... Hillar... Hillary Clinton

Ding Dong! Who's the - - - wait - - - I don't have a doorbell.

hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

what do you do when you forget to do your math homework? kill your teacher

roses are red violets are blue my dick hurts blue waffles

Once soon a time there was a boy named steven. He dropped his ice cream because... You know the rest

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

Q: What do you call a dog driving a car? A: A dog driving a car.

A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

Q: What did the homless man get for chritsmas? A: Frostbite

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

2 pilots rowed a boat across the desert. How long did it take to reach the moon? Answer: Purple because chickens don't use magic.

what happened when spongebob and Patrick were mean to sandy? she made a hurricane

whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

How to condom style ! Ayyyyyyy thts ur baby ! No! No! No! No! No! No! Broken condom style ;)

Whiney the poo and the blustery day.

What do you call a black man a asian man and a mexican man? 3 people

Knock Knock Who's there? Me ill kill u,

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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