How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

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Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

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why are black people so good at basketball? because they understand the fundamentals, work hard at becoming better, and have fun playing the game/

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God is like semen. They're both nouns.

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What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Whats worse being raped by jack the ripper or being fingered by captain hook

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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A blonde dies Lololol

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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G

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

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Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had Leukemia

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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What's the difference between a zit and a priest? These two things are so different that I couldn't list all of the differences in this text box.

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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What did the white man do when he got a black eye? He thanked the gracious african-descented donor, and with a little luck he just might see his beautiful wife and kids again

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot!

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A blonde was drinking water from the water fountain. She was very thirsty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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