If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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Why did Kurt Cobain commit suicide? Because it was drug related

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What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows, he was a chicken, and was not capable of human speech, so he never told anyone.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chipmunk fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Rhyming is hard, Zebra.

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If I had a penny for every time I said the word "the" I would have AIDS

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what word starts with 'p' and ends in 'orn'? popcorn you sickos

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Charlie Sheen Walks Into a Rehab Center.....

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

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Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

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There is a blond and a burnette in a car. The blonde is driving. What a nice use of the carpool

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I have never liked jokes. They promote laughter, which is the music of Satan strangling hairy children and wildebeast. I'd like to thank anti-joke.com for their work in the struggle against hilarity.

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Roeses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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How many jews can you fit in a car? As many as the compacity of the car can hold and how big the jews are

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You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

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A man walks into a coffee shop and buys a bookshelf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops