A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

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What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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A woman walks into a bar She is raped.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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What do you call a handsome nerd? The name that is on his birth certificate.

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Two men were walking down the road when one of them spotted an old lamp lying in a ditch. After examining the lamp's handiwork for several seconds one man rubbed the lamp with his shirt sleeve. The men then continued down the road.

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Q: what do you call a man eating some chicken ? A: a hungry man (hahahahahahaha.......i should get a life)

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How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

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the man was talking to a phone no answered cause he talking to a brick wall

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Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

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Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

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Rebecca Black.

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A horse walks into a bar, the barman says why the long face, the horse says, my dad died this morning.

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Why is Andrew sleeping? Because he took and overdose on sleeping pills, he probably died in his sleep.

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What is green and can hurt your eyes? I don't know, but its definitely not a laser pointer.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Miscarriages.

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Q: What's gray and comes in gallons? A: Gray paint.

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Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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