Is your refrigerator running? yeah oh...just wondering.

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What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

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A man was eating a hamburger when a boy came up and took his hamburger. So the got up and went to the counter and orderd another hamburger

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What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

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Your mamas so old she died of old age, R.I.P.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

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How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

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Q: Why is Alzheimer not funny? A: To get to the other side.

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what is almost like Jesus? Jesus

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What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

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A guy was beet by his wife.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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A man walks into a bar and approaches a man "Ask me if I'm a tree." "Fine.Are you a tree?" "No."

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How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

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Nicki Minaj walks into a bar... there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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How can you shed 10 pounds in one day? Get your legs amputed.

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Q: What's worse than getting a divorce? A: I don't know, i'm still married.

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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Why did the murder walk up to the lady in the car? It was his mom.

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Why did the black man scream in church? He felt like it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops