Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasnt due to the fact that numbers have no feeling.

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What do you get if you cross a Kangaroo and a Sheep? They are too entirely different species and cannot be crossbred.

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Why can't Helen Keller have sex? She is dead

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doc, I blacked out last night and have a sore ass." The doctor took some x-rays and informed him he had colon cancer.

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What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she no arms

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What's worse than being eaten by a giant bear? Hitler.

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Why is it funny when dogs talk ? Answer: they don't

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What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother.

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Women deserve equal rights.

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Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's bigger.

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What do a turtle and an eagle have in common? They can both fly. Except for the turtle.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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“Ok, time for bed” … is what I said to the empty living-room. It was getting late, and the internet no longer amused me. I picked up my cell phone, rooted through the couch cushions until I located the remote, and turned off the television that had been nothing but background noise for the last few hours. I made sure the front and back doors were securely locked, walked around the back of the couch, and turned off the only light. A tap on the screen of my phone created just enough light to keep from busting a toe on an errant table leg. Because my cats have an evil tendency to lie in the middle of the hallway, I aimed the small amount of light from my phone directly in front of my tired and shuffling feet. I’d only covered a small distance before I knew, from many nights of this same regimen, that I was getting close to the bedroom door. At this point my arm started the slow upward arc that would eventually illuminate the now pitch-black opening to the comfort of my room. The light emanating from my cell was quite dim, and this action had become quite rote, so my arc was about waist level before I noticed a slight variation of the familiar black of the open doorway. At that point, and in a disturbingly short amount of time, five things happened nearly simultaneously: My arm, the arm carrying the phone, continued to rise in its predetermined arc, having been an object in motion which would stay in motion. I released a small gasp and exclaimed to my husband that his sudden appearance in the dark had startled the breath from me. I remembered that my husband was at work. The light arc reached its apex on a face of protruding nail-like teeth. A face suspiciously bereft of eyes, with a gaping, oozing, bloody pit where a nose should have been. The light went out.

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Q) why did jimmy kick the bucket. A) Because his dad is an alcoholic and Beats him to the point of near death, so He takes his anger out by kicking anatomit Objects such as a bucket.

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I walked up to my friend who's a drug addict holding a can of coke. I then told said friend that I liked the smell of coke. My friend then went on to snort 27 Kilos of cocaine.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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