Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

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What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

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The man was allergic to water. He unfortunately died because water is needed to sustain health as a human.

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A guy walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because he is only 19 years old.

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? an email from PETA

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Why could a fat man not do a barrel roll? He has already to many rolls.

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What's worse than having an ugly face? Having a face like yours.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Read This line it the tune of "If your happy and you know it" If you're reading this, Do your homework. Sincerely, Your Teacher

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Yo mama so fat when she sat around the hous she sat AROUND the house

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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A Jew, Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. They have fun there a good time and then they go home.

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Two Pigs are in a bath. One pig says to the other "pass me the soap", to which the other pig replies "Do I look like a typewriter?"

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Hey i just met you. and this is crazy. I sent you my pubes in an envelope.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping? Well you should be very concerned because he hasn't been found in 4 years.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

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Roses are yellow Violets are carpet.. Get it...?

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A bartender walks into a bar. He serves alcohol for a living.

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How can you tell your not italian? You aint no Guito!

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Why did Johnny's pants fall down? Because he was fat.

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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yo mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops