How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down -18

sadf

thumb_up thumb_down -18

If I tell you that seeing you happy, is my main motivation towards accepting right now, would you believe me?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

when the zombie apocolypse comes what do you do? you die

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a bookstore with explosive offers? Barnes and Cher-Noble.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot... are you racist?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

-funny? women have rights -funnier? civil rights

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A black man checks his watch. He sees that its 3:50, and calmly carries on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get to chicken to have safe sex

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock knock -Who's there? Orange -I don't get it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did Billy say to Timmy? Timmy! I'm so sorry. *Sniffles* I didn't mean to throw the fork that hard. Rest in peace Timmy...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a dear with no eyes? A victim of animal cruelty.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

You're such a retard, you have to take special education, live with a mother that doesn't know what to do with you, not understand the real world, and have people look at you strangely for the rest of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How about that airline food?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I work at jcpenny

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Nero? You are alive? Holy shit! You are like so my hero! I love you man! I was so saddened to hear you where tortured and killed, but then I read about this "Axel Knight" and hoped it was you, it sure sounded like you! Please tell me its no joke, you are a hero around these parts, and we really miss you, honestly sir, is it true point zero has become some sort of utopia or are the painkillers making you a bit Hazy? I am Erica by the way, still with the order, but what is this about your empire?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb?? None it is physically impossible

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you kill a fox? With a gun. How do you kill a deer? With a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops