3 like an eel

Q:Why did Hitler lose World War II? A:His "gas" bill.

What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

Yo' momma's so black, I hope she didn't experience any racism growing up in school.

You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

why didn't the unicorn have a horn? It was a horse. Why didn't the horse have a horn? it was not a unicorn.

What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

This joke might just be dumb enough for YOU to find funny

Why were the black mans hands all sticky? He was helping orphans with arts and crafts

Why didn't Suzie go to the park? She commited suicide 2 years ago.

Three tomatoes were walking down the street, a daddy, a mummy and a baby and...wait did I say tomatoes, sorry, I meant people.

a young mother cow died in a street crossing by a large oil truck, she was never buried and became infested with maggots in the next few days

An anti joke a day... really doesn't actually do that much

Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mother's funeral.

Your momma's so fat, that her doctor recommends that she exercises regularly and sticks to a healthier diet that includes foods with nutritional value.

what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

Her Majesty's Government of the United Kingdom of Great Britain

What did the man say to the woman before he had sex with her? "May I have sex with you, please?"

How do you make lady gaga cry? Give her bad romance haven't you heard this joke before......DUMBASS

What did the cat say to the hamster? Meow

Roses are red vielots are blue but they aren't as sweet as you.Can you be my Valentine ny choclate cupcake will you me my choclate

what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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