Where did the Jew put his money? In a low rist, interest bearing mutual fund.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What did the pineapple say to the orange? Nothing; Neither a pineapple nor an orange contains the necessary muscles to produce speech.

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Cody went to the store. Big Floppy Donkey Dick.

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Q. Why did the 40 year old woman puts on a large amount of makeup? A. She may have gerontophobia.

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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Ryan Holden is a faggot.

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What's the difference between katchup and musterd A very long list of things that I don't want to read

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you cant spell slaughter withought laughter

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Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

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If a quiz is also referred to as a quizzicle, then what is a test also referred to as? A test, really. There are no synonyms for 'test' which would result in a humorous punchline; 'exam,' 'essay' and 'evaluation' are the closest possible answers and none of them provide humor at all.

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Why could a fat man not do a barrel roll? He has already to many rolls.

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What's worse than having an ugly face? Having a face like yours.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? an email from PETA

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A guy walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because he is only 19 years old.

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What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

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What's the funniest thing about the holocaust? Nothing it wasn't a joke

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The man was allergic to water. He unfortunately died because water is needed to sustain health as a human.

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

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Read This line it the tune of "If your happy and you know it" If you're reading this, Do your homework. Sincerely, Your Teacher

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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