What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? An anchor

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Why Didn't The Teenager Bring His Report Card Home to His Parents? Because He Was Murdered By Thugs Walking Home From School.

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Q: How do you make a clown stop laughing? A: Hit it in the face with an axe

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Why was the girl crying? She got shot in the penis

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

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Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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Alan: My Grandfather was in the SS and has a leather jacket made jews he killed. Me: Really? Alan: No, i'm korean. My grandfather wouldnt be allowed into the SS.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a dog in your apple

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Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swings? Because she didn't have arms or legs. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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What shakes and twitches and can be found at the sea bottom? A scuba diver running out of oxygen.

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Alien vs. Predator = Evil Staplers vs. Evil Jamaicans

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How did the guy survive the plane crash? He didnt, He died like everybody else.

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Knock Knock Who's there? a tree

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What is older than history?

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Why was the drunk man arrested? he beat his wife and was sentenced too 3 months in federal prison

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what do you call a room with no people in it? empty What do you call a room with over 9000 people in it? a fire hazard

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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Why couldn't John play soccer? Because he was arrested for being black.

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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