Three men of different ethnic and socio-economic upbringings enter a pub. A strange situation befalls them or a question is posed. The first two respond in turn, in manners typical of their profession or educational background. The third, however, either draws on his specific expertise and responds so as to outwit the others, or makes an egregious and pun-filled blunder, leaving himself open to mockery by his peers.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the guy hate the man that said,"I respect you?'' Because the man was Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I've got the whole world! In my hands! I've got the whole world! In my hands! I've got the whole world! In my hands! Now you must listen to all of my demands or I will crush you all.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

"...."-Hellen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down -12

There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Whats black white and red all over? A: A dead penguin

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How did the boy break his hand? He slammed it in a car door.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what is yellow with red all over tweety in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -12

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why does Miley Cyrus make sex tapes It's the only acting job she can get

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why was the black mans shirt ripped? because he escaped genocide in africa

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What is the difference between a horny college girls and a horny high school girl? A: Usually, an age will seperate people in different grades. Also, what grade their in.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock Knock Who's There ........................ ........................................... I hate doorbell ditchers

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Girls Lacrosse.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red My bulb is blue My pants are extending When I look at you

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mama is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror it displays her reflection like all mirrors do

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? The baby is not a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roes are red Violets are blue I have a potato Let's make pie

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops