What's puby and dandruffy? Aodhan Hearty

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A blonde walks into a bar; she orders and enjoys her drink and then leaves with her thirst quenched.

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Legolas They're taking the Hobbits to Isengard!

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on the training and hence productivity of the babies.

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What's long, hard and full of semen? An erect penis prior to ejaculation.

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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Who paved the road? The fat guy with the steam roller

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What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an African? A baby.

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A mailman walks into a bar He delivers a bill for the electricity and leaves.

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Why was the boy sad he ate a loaf of bread? Because ducks ate him alive after that.

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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Ask me if I'm a tree..... "are you a tree?" No.

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Nobody knows as humans are unable to understand the way dogs communicate.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 3, according to Mr. Owl

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There's 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and muscular guy. 7 days later, the fat guy receives an invitation to the zoo. It turns he got a new job and his friends was so proud.

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What's the song that goes like, duh duh da duh duh duh da da do?

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Why did the woman stop running? She was an escaped convict that had been on the run for twelve years and the police had finally found the place where she was hidding. Upon arriving at her house she started to open fire on the three police cars, hit two cops and killed one more. The two are fine and are going through physical therapy as they were both hit in the spine and have a difficult time performing the smallest task. The one was one called billy. Billy had died in the hospital after asking if they had got her. He died believing a lie. They never got her. She is still on the run, I lied about her stopping.

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A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

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Goats are like toilets, I shit in them

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There is something fishy about.... the fish curry at home

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Why did the girl get her hair cut off? Because she had cancer

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Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

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An overzealous adventurer takes a trip to the Congo in Central Africa. While exploring the dense jungles, he accidentally drinks water that is contaminated with a very rare virus. He lives through the pain of the virus for many years. About 10 years after his trip to Africa, researchers discover a cure for the adventurer's virus. He goes to the clinic to get his shot to kill the virus. Exhilarated, the now cured adventurer runs out of the clinic but fails to look both ways while crossing the street and gets hit by and ambulance and dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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