patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

What is black and blue? A pen with reversable ink.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor, You've been diagnosed with venereal disease.

Hey, speaking of anti jokes, there is much in the bible that facinates me, but that I find to be... Very... Ilogical, but then again I know a lot about the spiritual to open the the possibility to the (maybe) fact that the answers lie in the spiritual realm or you know whatever you prefer to call it. But you know, God has existed for eternities eternal etc, forever, and only some few thousand years ago he decided to let there be light? Kinda makes sense to why he was such a hardass in the first testament, I mean wow it must have been depressive for eternal eternities until he created light huh? Maybe he slept as many other Gods tend to do in a theological perspective. The other that baffles me completely: God has an enemy known as Sin, that is so powerful that he must sacrifice his own son in order to keep it away? I mean has Sin ever sacrificed anything to good? In that way they would be opposites and not God sarcificing stuff as humans sacrificed stuff animals (and almost a son Iscaac right? Because you know God and Satan where kinda chummy and enjoyed betting and good sport... My viewpoint at least) And Now I just repeat myself, but if Light was Gods first invention, who created voice? Was it part of his being? Why was light not part of his being? Is light not the path to God? "The Light"? Its horsehead Network and I do not expect much of this site sincerely, but if you find the time, the care, the love and Guidance of God provides (yeah I am appealing to your Good Christian side) then please find it in your Jesus filled heart to leave me what you think is missing or perhaps I do not understand at all. And if I ever become a Christian again, ill tell God and Jesus that you where the person that got me there, put in a good word for eternal life huh? Get you and maybe even your mother and father that made you that kind with Gods guidance a nice V.I.P place up there huh? If there is a God out there, he loves all the same yeah, but he keeps favorites, I mean those that suffer eternally in hell... I don't like questioning what I do not understand to a certain tangible degree, but does he do this with the same love he treats those that go to heaven?

A black man, a mexican man, and a caucasian man, walk into a bar with handguns. The three break out into a gun fight and everyone is killed in the cross-fire

Cannot tell, national security. As far as I care we are friends, therefore I cannot continue chatting with you for a while, its gonna seem pretty damn suspicious, I wont be repeating myself. Except again, do not worry, we will take care of this, and if not, I will contact you, you are not in any danger for the mean being, whoever are against us are looking for "Nero", not you, and I am pretty damn safe. By the way, I never lost an eye, but your "wiz" revealed himself by sharing that information, that part was the only ploy as far as I care, and it was necessary for everybody`s survival. Do not worry friend, I will call you sometime, but I recommend we stay off touch for at least 3 months, and that you stop using this site.

A young boy walks into a catholic church, he attends mass, and leaves.

whats white and big and white? alot of things...

wHY DIDN'T THE HORSE FINISH COLLEGE? HIS GRANT RAN OUT AN HE COULDN'T GET ANOTHER STUDENT LOAN.

how do you get your son or daughters attention? break down the door to their room and promptly begin beating them with a wooden baseball and then tie them up to a chair and torture them for 24 hours.

Q; How did the blind man cross the road? A; very unsuccessfully leaving behind memories of his joys but soon forgotten smile

why did the family get sick?? because i fucked a girl with a parsnip then sold the parsnip to a family with 4 small children

What has no eyes no arms no legs and the lack of a brain? You for liking this joke

Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

Do you know why i dont write poems Because i thought that violets were violets OTARTS...WAS...HERE

Q: What do you call a girl with no arms or legs, is blind, has no parents, has cancer, and is dyslexic? A: Suzie

Yo mama is so fat, we are all concerned about her weight.

Whats funnier than Dane Cook. The Holocaust.

What did the jew say to the black man? Nothing they were in a mall that got invaded by evil trees.

Yo mama is so old, the bone structure of her spine has decayed significantly since she stopped growing and has therefore shrunken in height considerably. Her face and hands have accumulated abundant visual wear; wrinkles, and has arthritis as well.

I couldn't decide whether to buy a pepperoni or a meat feast pizza? So i got neither and my two year old son died of starvation.

what do you call a chicken thats little? a chicken. I lied about the little part

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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