Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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So this fat guy farts. It smells.

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Why did the other Albino cross the road? He was running away from a witch doctor who was going to brutally murder him and steal his body parts.

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Why are the new york knicks called the new york knicks.? no one gives a crap

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs jetskiiing? I don't know but it seems a highly improbably situation.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Why did the black man walk across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stoplight turned green

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Douse it in gas and throw it in a fire

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How do you piss off a redneck? You wait until he is done fucking his sister and then you steal his truck.

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Why did Sally fall off a tree? The tree was a man wearing a tree costume and was sexually assaulting her with his branches. Sally fell off because the cops came and the man threw her down. The tree man is still on the loose. If you have any info please call crime stoppers.

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Yo mama so fat and ugly, I don't want to tell you how fat and ugly she is for fear of vomiting.

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Why did the idiot take a selfie with his phone underwater? Because he's an idiot

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What's green and blue, and red all over? Nothing. It if were red all over it wouldn't be green and blue.

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Why did the man fall of the cliff? A: Because someone pushed him.

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What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

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A lady with alzheimers walks up to her friend and says" my nefew died today" and her friend replied.. " no he died three years ago."

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Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

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why did the boy drop his bus because he was hit by an ice cream

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L.A Clippers 2000-2012 season!!!!

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

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Who invented the Iceberg Salad? The Titanic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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