A gay man walks into McDonald's. McDonald's serves people of all sexualities.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

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You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

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What did Chuck Norris say when he stubbed his toe? "Oh shit I stubbed my toe."

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. That is highly improbable, due to the fact he is in a wheelchair.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh yeah... You're mute.

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Chuck norris doesnt mow his lawn, He calls someone to do it for him and then he pays them a great deal of money considering he has a large lawn.

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A Jewish man, a christian man, and a buddist man walk in bar, They all have to much to drink and are arrested for driving under the influence while trying to get back home.

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What time did the Chinese man go the dentist? About 5 minutes prior to his appointment

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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Why was the white man's girlfriend a whore? Because she engaged in sexual relations with a multitude of other men.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

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My friends new nickname is hawk-eye! He is a jackass...

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's raape?

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What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

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life is like a box of chocolates........no it's not

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Your mom is soo fat that when God said "let there be light" he had to ask her to move

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Put her in a circular room and tell her to find the corner.

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Roses are Gray. Violets are Gray. I am a Dog.

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whats funny about the klu klux klan? nothing is funny at all about it because they cause pain and suffering to afircan amaricans and other ethnic groups.

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whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

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What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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