What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your heart.

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What do you catch a baby with? A pitchfork

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

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If you are on this site, you have a shitty life. It is even shittier if you read this.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? - Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up again? - Because she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her? - Because she had no friends. Knock knock. -Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

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roses are refds violet are xaflj;k it sucks having turretts syndroewe

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Mark Twain, Jesus, and Bill Gates are sitting at a bar. Someone messed with the space time continuum again.

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what do you call a black man that sells drugs

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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what did batman say to robin to get him into the car? Get in the car

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Why was there a red chicken? He tried crossing the road.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Hey, look over there! It's ur mom!

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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"...."-Hellen Keller

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Why was the man scared? Because he was being attacked by a giant tiger.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have condoms, But we didn't use them with you. You were DP'd, Now you have STD.

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Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because the weather report said there was a 90% chance of rain, and he didn't want to get his posh new coat wet on the way to the studio

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops