Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why don't vampires like garlic? Every vampires was raped by a garlic salesman.

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how much c o c k could a n i g g e r lick if a f a g g o t licked a d i c k

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A black man provides has a normal day job and provides for his family while staying faithful to his wife.

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how do you break up with your girlfriend? talk about their race.

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are u black unlucky

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#IsaiahAfterAD&B

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What is 9 inches long, the same colour as my skin, and makes my girlfriend gag when I shove it down her throat? Her Miscarriage.

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MR MR WHO?? MR MC CANN

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What happens when you give a math problem to a blonde? She works through it to arrive at the answer.

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What boy with no arms get on his birthday? Lego.

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What do a fish and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?' The horse says "I was just diagnosed with testicular cancer."

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing set? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get away from a gigantic tiger slowly stalking him

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Denard Robinson

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Yo momma is so dumb, the tests came back positive for mental retardation and she has been given an expected life expectancy of 2 years.

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What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life"

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Once upon a time there was a king who had a daughter. She eventually grew up and contracted aids got run over by a bus and shit her pants..

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Who has two thumbs and gets to go home tomorrow? Well, not your son. He's in a persistent vegetative state and we had to amputate both of his arms.

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whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

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Q:What's the difference between a turtle and a cat? A: One's a turtle and the other is a cat....

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops