What do you call people who play dance dance revolution? Dancers

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That was me, I thought we where friends now... I am so sorry, I really did not send anyone nor anything, I would never do such a thing! What happened to you is terrible, I did say I knew who they where and that they are in prison, but that was a lie, I just wanted for you to think I was really confident and in control. Please Nero, let me speak to you, nothing is like you think, Jenny is my stepmother, please don't do anything.

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What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

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What did Justin Bieber say when he lost his tampon? Where's my tampon?

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What happens when a girl sticks her head in a birthday cake? She gets a toothpick stuck in her eyebrow. Trust me..I know.

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Q. What do you get when you cross the North Korean border and an American? A. Death.

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(warning- this is sort of funny) A mom takes her son to cvs to pick up her pills. Son- Mom whats a pharmacists? Mom- well sweetie its a person who sells people drugs Monday Morning Teacher- Class, did you learn anything over the weekend? Son- Yah, i learned that my mommy has been taking me with her every week, to a person who sells drugs Later that week Teacher- Yes, hi, um your son has told me that you take him to buy drugs with you, i may have to call social services Mom- what? this is a misunderstanding, i go to a pharmacists to buy drugs. That evening Mom-what did you tell your teacher at school Son- you've been telling me that i go with you to buy drugs Mom- baby i need pills, well, because, im sick. Son- ohhhhhhhhhhhh ok At school Teacher- Billy ive called s.s on your mom, u will be living with foster parents Son- ohhhhhhhhhhhh ok Evening Police- ?Ms. Thackery, is this your student. Teacher- Yes Police- His mom has tradgicly died in a pool of tears after finding out YOU called s.s Mom- what? omg. DAMN Police- Im afraid u r under arrest for the cause of his mothers death Class- yayyyyyyy wooo hooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Billy Billy Billy Billy. hip hip hooray Teacher- Damn Son- mommy? Police- ur mommy's dead, sucks right sooooooo here's a box and ten bucks......... go live your life

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Eeny meeny miny moe, Catch a piglet by its toe, If it squeals let it go, Or you'll be arrested for animal abuse and receive a heavy fine.

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What do you call 55,000 clowns exiting a small car? Fiction.

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Why did Susan fall off the swing? -Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan.

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I read the terms of service.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? I don't know. The woodchuck won't chuck wood.

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What did my uncle get for Christmas? Me... MagicMonkey

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

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What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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What do you call a bear. Rob.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the bat mobile? A: Robin get in the bat mobile.

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Yo Mama's so fat Everyone is very concerned for her Health.

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme Refrigerator

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What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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Did you just admit being considerate? I do not care about who gets the last comment anymore, I need to tear my face away from the screen ASAP.

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What's the one good thing about being a paraplegic? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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