Q: What did the tree say as he fell? A: Studies have shown plants in general do not have a voice box, thus making plants incapable of speaking.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Why did the black man scream in church? He felt like it.

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why did the holocaust not die because black people are scared of fuck

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Thats so awesome, I was totally not not going to tell you and when I saw I did not not type it I totally did it anyways, but why did it last even though stuff timed out? I am like so wet.

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There once was a man from Peru, Whose limericks all stopped on line two.

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a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

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Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

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What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? 2 Holocausts

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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I walked up to my friend who's a drug addict holding a can of coke. I then told said friend that I liked the smell of coke. My friend then went on to snort 27 Kilos of cocaine.

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What do you call a monkey holding a hand grenade? It depends on what its name is.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

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Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

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person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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how do you know when your in love? massive erection.

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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