Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How did Hitler make the world a better place? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Pickup Line: Hay girl is that a mirror in your pants. Becuase I can see me in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. ~Stevie Wonder

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Miscarriages.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A crazy priest squats down and poops in the middle of the church... nobody understood what was going so they pointed and laughed.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

thumb_up thumb_down

Rich merchant started build a new bigger home for his family. He bought good blueprints and hired some construction workers to build it up. It took 2 years for the house to finish. Just few days before moving in, he had an horrible nightmare where little green men set the house on fire. When he woke up, he heard the bad news. House was burned down during the night. Merchant was shocked and sad. After couple of weeks, he decided to build a new house. This time a smaller one. Again he bought blueprints and hired people to work for him. Almost a year later, the house was starting to be finished. And again he saw that nightmare of little green men burning the house down. At morning he already knew the news and started to investigate these happenings. Local police officer couldn't help him and so didn't anyone else he asked. Merchant decided to try once more to build new home. This time he had money only for a small farmhouse. Building it up last 6 months, and almost every night merchant was guarding the construction site for little green men. Farmhouse finished in time and merchant moved in. In couple weeks he started to relax and think that little green men stopped harassing him. At one night, couple of months after moving in. Merchant saw the nightmare again, and woke up in burning house. He escaped from the window and saved his wife and children. Then he ran to the village to call for help. The next morning, merchant was sitting next to his burned home and just thinking the motives for green men, what did he do in past so that green men were angry at him? Some villagers had come to watch the burned house and merchant saw something green in middle of the crowd. He slowly walked towards the crowd and saw this little man fleeing. He started to pursue this man and was pumped with adrealine. Didn't last long when merchant catched this little guy and held him in the ground to ask "Who are you? Do you have anything to do with those housefires?" The little green man was calm and relaxed as he answered "No."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is the difference between obama and a hobo. NOTHING

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do you fit 1,000 Jews in a Volkswagen? Trick question, you can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +143

whats annoying and black? black people

thumb_up thumb_down +121

What has four wheels and can fly? A flying car What else has four wheels and can fly? Another flying car

thumb_up thumb_down +67

America Votes

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops