How do you upset Muslims? Kill their leader. Whoops, already did.

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What happened to the boy when he did nothing? The game.

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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I just lost the game where if you think about the game then you lose the game. so did you.

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

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A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

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Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

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What's better than winning a Gold Medal in the Special Olympics? Not being handicapped in the first place.

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how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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Why did the boy cry? because his tear-ducts were agitated by an emotional reaction due to jokes that were ironically hilarious because of how bland and usual the punchlines were

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What can little Billy play? The tumour, sorry I meant what will little Billy die from.

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there were 2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says it sure is hot in here. The other one says WTF a talking sausage!

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2 guys walk into a bar, a third guy carefully ducks under it

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a little boy told his friend he failed a test.. the friend replied that his parents r goin to kill him... to save himself the suffering ...the boy hung himself in his closet

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Leukemia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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