Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

2+2= 478

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you make a blond to shoot herself? You give her a gun and than ask her to pull the trigger.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the boy go swimming in the ocean? He didn't. the current pulled him in and he drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

well it rained all night the day i left, the weather it was dry, i can't remember the words but susana don't you cry oh susana don't you cry for me for i come from alabama with a banjo on my knee oh

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why is this website funny? Because it has jokes on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

thumb_up thumb_down -21

how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's worse than a black President... George W Bush

thumb_up thumb_down -25

As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Cadillac? A Cadillac is a car, and a dead baby is a morose and disgusting topic of internet humor.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What do you call a black man on the side of the road? -A black man who needs a ride.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops