How do you kill somebody? A: I don't know, I'm not a murderer.

Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

-Knock-knock. -Who's there? -Interrupting Doctor. -Interrup.. -You have cancer.

What did the flower say to the flowerpot? Nice weather we're having

Found out my dad was gay the other day. Now I have to take him to dance clubs, take him to musicals and find the man who gave birth to me.

A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

Q. What is worse than a worm in your apple? A. Hitler

Knock, Knock Who's there? Dave. Dave, who? Dave, your neighbor, I ran out of eggs making a quiche, could I borrow a few?

roses are blue violets are red i messed up so f... this s..t

Whats the difference between Justin bieber and a dick... The dick

How do you confuse a conspiracy theorist? Tell them the government is not real.

Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a bus and didn't know! The funeral was touching and sad. Everyone cried. 2 weeks later..........Johnson ended his own life.......

Whats luckier than finding a lucky penny? winning the lottery.

Why did the couple stop at the stop sign? Because it's the law.

a boy with asperges asked me a question today he asked me again and again because he has asperges

roses are red viloits are blue Bernard is hot but then i led to you

What's dirtier than an ice cream cone rolled in dirt? The dirt it was rolled in.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

5 - samios in a wheelchair.

What do you call Helena… A Shady palm tree

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was struck by lightning and died.

Doctor Doctor I think I'm a dog. Sit down on the couch and tell me about it. Ok.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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