What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

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Let's say you're inside a building and you are lost. You need to find directions to get out. But the building is so big almost like a maze or labyrinth. You start walking until you see 2 doors and each door is guarded by a man. Now in between the 2 doors is a message on the wall. It says: "Dear friend, I assume that you are lost and want to get out. There is hope! You have an option to choose one of these doors guarded by these men. You may ask one of these men which door leads to freedom. However, 1 guard ALWAYS tells a lie and 1 guard ALWAYS tells the truth. If you are to choose the wrong door, you will be locked in the building forever. So choose wisely and ask the right question. Good luck! Sincerely, the owner of the building." So you think to yourself and try to figure out what the hell did you get yourself into. This is a very tricking situation. You have one liar and one honest man. How can you tell which is lying and with is telling the truth? After minutes of confusion and thinking, you have finally decided to ask one guard a question. ----spoiler alert----- So you ask the guard one question. "What would the other guard say is the door to freedom?" The guard said "This door" You choose the opposite door and you are now free. The End [Explanation: You have 2 doors. Let's say door A is losing and door B is winning. If you ask the liar what would the other guard say, he we lie and say door A. So you pick the opposite door, which door B and you win. Now if you ask the truth teller what would the other guard say, he we tell the truth and say the same answer, door A. So you pick the opposite door and win]

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Q.How do you kill a Zombie? A. You can't Zombies are fictional monsters that do not exist in our reality. instead why not focus on killing other things such as, Terrorists, Ants and People who piss you off

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Why did the baby stop crying? It had been smothered to death by it's sleep- deprived single mother.

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Whats blue, green and red, and runs trough the strees each sunday? ...What? I have no idea, I was hoping you did.

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What are the two sexiest farm animals? Consider that we are humans we shouldn't find any sex appeal in animals but if i had to guess I would say Brown Chicka Brown Cow

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A German challenged an Englishman to a duel But their neigbours found out and alerted the police

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yo momma is so fat she ate the rest of the joke

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A Holocaust survivor. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm sorry to say it but i hate you

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Q.What do Santa Clause and a grape have in common? A.They both have beards. Except for the grape.

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why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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You've been in robotics too long if you start talking to your tools. You've been in there way too long if they start talking back!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? The one from the farm across the street. Can Randy come play outside?

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What happened to the kid who brome his neck? He died.

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What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

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Kid: My dad's brother has gone at it with a lot of women. Friend(sarcastically): Geez that's great! When was he born? Kid: '69

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Roses are red. Violates' are blue. Hitler is my homy.

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are pink Daisys are white

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

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What do you call a white person? Caucasian

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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