A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

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Why did the monkey cross the road? It didn't. It died!

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In mediavel times :A Jew rapes his mom.... He is promptly taken out of society and thrown into a lions den due to his act of imortality.

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What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

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Me: did u here the one about the girl got hit by a car? Man: no what happened? Me: She is in the hosspital with slight fractures and a broken wrist, but she will live

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What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is both blind and deaf, and doing so would put others in danger.

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Your mama is so fat. Just look at her.

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

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Do you know the reason people like sleeping? It's because they have good dreams. Ooh la la.--

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What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

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There was a young boy walking to school. and he found a red hairbrush on the ground. He then proceeded to walk to school. During lunch he examined the haircrush and it looked perfectly normal. A few days later, he decided he was bored with the hairbrush and decided to place it in a tree. A girl found the hairbrush. The end. You just wasted 30 seconds of your life. Ha.

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A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

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knock knock who's there? your mom your mom who? I'm sorry to tell your mom is dead :.(

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If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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Dear Diary, I am down to my last drops of water, I'm going to die soon. Wait, a man is offering me some water! Theres still hope, wait he said sike and ran off. I'm going to die alone.

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Why did the man yell at his wall? Because it jumped out and scared him when he walked past

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lets work together to make all racists jokes in negitives

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What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? The tea he was drinking was at an unsuitable temperature for consumption resulting in the scalding of his mouth.

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what did the boy say to the over weight girl your fat

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What happened when the man was about to hug the sexiest person he ever saw in his life? He hit the mirror.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops