roses are red, violets are blue, i have Alzheimer's, CHEESE ON TOAST

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Teacher: "Kenny, what is the biggest mammal on land?" Kenny: "A stranded whale."

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Where do you study to get a good education? A library, at home, or at another quiet location where it is easy to concentrate.

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A: "Knock knock." B: "Who's there?" A: "John Doe." B: "John Doe who?" A: "..."

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A blond Canadian and his Korean friend are going together to Korea. When checking in the person asks the Canadian if he has a return ticket leaving the country. He replies yes but he does not have it on him. According to Korean Customs and Immigration laws a non-Korean citizen must have a return ticket to enter the country. Inevitably follows a long and tedious process in order to procure the ticket in order to pass customs. The Korean and the Canadian continue to their boarding gate.

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Guy 1: Hey, do you like fish sticks? Guy2: Yeah. Guy 1: Me too

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What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Who's worse: Ghandi or Hitler Answer: Hitler

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Why didn't the little boy hear the ice cream truck? He was deaf.

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Knock Knock. Who's There. Teenage Pregnancy

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Yo mamma's so fat, we are all seriously concerned for her health.

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What did the church say to the house? You need jesus

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What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

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What's white, wet, and salty? Salt that has come in contact with a liquid in the recent past, seeing as the liquid has not evaporated completely from the combination of sodium and chloride yet.

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? Nope! I'm a person! - SMC Digital

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have AIDS".

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Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

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why was the kid sitting in a wooden chair? Because at the early age of four he was diagnosed with cancer and genital warts!

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

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a jew walked into a bar-mitzvah

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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What did the mute boy get for his birthday? i dont know he didnt tell me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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