Yesterday i had a conversation with my husband. I asked him if he slept with another women. He said yes

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your dad called night and told me your grandpa died.

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Why didnt little Timmy come home? He was abducted into slavery.

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A man walks into a Bar, and he gets kicked out because its an animal only bar no people allowed

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

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:( You are right Nero, I am terribly sorry, when I see you, I see the brightest man I have ever seen, should you ever turn against me and stop underestimating yourself, there is nothing I could do.

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What's the dumbest animal in the rainforest? A polar bear.

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What do you get when you cross a dead monkey, a chair fitted with wheels for use as a means of transport by a person, Isaac Newton & the creator of the website? Stephen Hawking.

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Why did Jane break up with DeShawn? Cause they grew apart

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Lol, first of all all I watched was something called Chobits many years ago, and while I know what hentai is, I cant say I watch that a lot or not really at all no... A peek but, its just too weird for me, they all look like cute kids with deformed bodies or something. What? You into Nerds now? Why cant I just wear my contacts and look somewhat less alien?

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What's Pi times the square root of a panda's earlobe? Panda's do not have earlobes... thus the answer is inexplicable.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because animals walking across a paved street is a very common occurrence ever since the industrialization of the modern world.

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Your mother's breath smells so bad that it just doesn't smell very good at all.

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What's funnier than shooting a moose? The realization that the moose was Sarah Jessica Parker...

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How did the polar bear get the bottle of coke? He killed the little boy

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What did the doctor say to his patient with cancer? "You have cancer...".

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How did the black man get a car? He bought it.

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What do you call a black guy with no hair? Bald

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Do homeless people get knock-knock jokes?

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Have you tried african food? No. Neither have they!

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Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

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rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops