Why don't women wear watches? In the technological age we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Turns out a man suffering from schizophrenia believes he is a bartender for animals as his health slowly declines as his family comes to visit him every day.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is life? It is a sexually transmitted disease which always ends in death. There is currently no known cure.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

KNOK KNOK WHOES THERE APPLE APPLE WHO SEE THIS IS Y U BROKE UP

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I shot a bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why didn't the mexiczn eat the black man's cooking? because it wasn't good

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you say to a jew with blood on his leg? Are you okay?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many black ppm does it take to screw in a light bulb All of them, plus 1 white guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

This anti-joke below is hilarious.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Wow, so today is 9/11? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the retard say to the other retard.. hey timmy how was work?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you pacify Hitler? Give him jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the doctor commit suicide? His wife was recently killed in a car accident and simply could not take the emotional pain!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a person from China? Chinese, duh.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's blue, wriggles around, and sits in a corner? A dying baby in a plastic bag. What's green, doesn't wriggle around, and sits in a corner? A Christmas tree. The current homeowners were never made aware of the atrocity committed by the previous occupants.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the teacher say to the boy whose dog had just died? Haha, your dog just died.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red Violets are red My lawn is red My fences are red It appears my garden is on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

People are a lot like slinkies. Not really good for anything, but still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops