No pen- no notes No notes- no study No study- no good grades No good grades- no diploma No diploma- no job No job- no money No money- no food No food- really skinny Really skinny- ugly Ugly- no wife No wife- no kids No kids- lonely Lonely- death No pen=death

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So a dolphin is dropped off at a park and dies because he was out of the water to long.

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Why did the asian driver crash his car? Because he was driving while intoxicated.

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"Wow, that was so funny i fell off my dinosaur!" Dinosaurs went extinct in the late Cretaceous period, about 65 million years ago. Commonly believed by scientists across the world to have been caused by an ancient meteor that crashed in the current day Yucatán peninsula in Mexico. Also, even if you were around during the Cretaceous period, i assure you that no dinosaur would let you climb on top of it, let alone ride it while you're not highly terrified because of the sheer danger of the experience. Now unless you are 65 million years old, I highly doubt you laughed so hard that you fell off the dinosaur that you supposedly own.

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If you're havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son, your mother and I once had those problems but we got through it.

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What did the serial killer eat for breakfast? You.

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How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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Doctor Doctor, I keep getting horrible boils all over my face! Okay then. Take off your underwear and we'll see what's going on.

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Q: Why are all black people fast? A: Because the slow ones are in jail.

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Alpine Ibexes climb nearly 90 degree angles to lick salt deposits off mountain sides. They crave that mineral.

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So a man walks into a hospital to see his dying wife..... walks into her room falls over and then dies

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Why did the man cross the road He didn't, he died after being hit by a car

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There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all had different colors of hair.

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An man was tested positive for HIV. He then called his girlfriend and told her she should get tested.

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Q: Whats different about pizza and jewish people? A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

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What did God do to help the little girl with terminal cancer? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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What do you call a blonde with a Doctorate in Physics? Doctor (Dr).

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What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Richard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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