Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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A guy was beet by his wife.

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roses are red violets are blue dinosaurs are extinct obama is black

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How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

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What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

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Why did the black surgeon get fired? The hospital was low on funds due to the economic crisis, and had to let a few employees go.

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Q: What did the schizophrenic man say to his father? A: "Every time grandmother's urn shrieks, this pornography turns to black ink."

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Why did the black person sit in the back of bus? All the other seats were taken.

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minorities

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Justin Bieber walks out of a closet.

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Your mamas so old she died of old age, R.I.P.

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Peg leg Pete, yay, I know stuff too, I watched that one all the time when I was a girl.

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Ask me if I'm a tree I don't need to, because I know you're not a tree

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Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Cancer

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knock knok whos there? Jacob Jacob who? U know, your friend!

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Whats the difference between a quarter and a penny? 24 cents.

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You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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Why was the young women crying Because her fiancé who was battling a severe Case of pneumonia just passed away

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Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

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A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

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I used to tell people: step on my foot on purpose and ill FUCKlNG BREAK YOURS! Then I Evolved.. friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Thumb me down or step on my foot if only on mistake, and I will break off both your legs and ram them up your ASS!

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what's the difference between a black man and a bench? the bench is an inanimate object

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how can u tell if you have cancer if the doctor says so

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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