Roses are red Violets are blue If i gave a rats ass I'd worry about you

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What do you call a cow after an earthquake? Dead. The barn collapsed on top of it.

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A priest and a rabii walk into a bar. Both men, despite both being good people and well respected in their communities, aren't able to overcome their differences which are signified by their religions. Both men later leave the bar and surround themselves with people of their own kin.

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Uh, Liz, he is staring at the screen... He says you are right and knows, so he cant get mad, ill trust you both, but it better work, or this one is on me. Oh by the way, yeah he is eating, sorry its late here, and I am the only nurse here about now Ironically this place is full of doctors but they dont seem to give a crap about the man that pays their checks. Doctors said no, Nero said "you are fired" Doctor changes his opinion, glad to see he is taking charge around here, I am just worried about his sleep, he is beginning to halucinate and I doubt any stimulants will help. But fine, ill trust you, sorry, really shaking my boots here, I really do not want to, but this is not about me.

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Why did the teacher ask her student about the test? Because she was in the hospital the day of the test because her husband was hit by a rail road spike and died but she was so devoted to her job she wanted to know.

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You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

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what happened to the guy that got shot in the head? Nothing, it was a water gun.

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A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

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Rebecca Black starts to sing a song, and when breaking out into her annoying chorus, we realize that it's not about the days of the week.

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Nickelback.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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I scream, You scream, The police come, It's awkward.

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What is red and green and goes round and round? A frog in a blender!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbit were seated next to each other on an airplane. They all had to pay for lunch.

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Jemal picks 3 apples. He eats two of them, and then picks 3 more. What color was Jamal?

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Why didnt little timmy have a pencil? He was poor

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How can you kill someone who looks like a squirrel? With an bomb. That would kill most people.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? The president. -Harrison

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Whats has 6 wheels and can fly? A dumpster, I lied about the flying.

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What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go hang himself.

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lybia

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just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops