What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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What's blue and smells like red paint? That blue guy from Megamind.

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Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

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Knock Knock The door's open, wipe your shoes off on the matt

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They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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Sometimes I stare at a Frisbee and wonder why it is getting bigger. Then, it hits me.

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Why couldn't little Sally fall asleep? She was on fire.

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Why can't Helen Keller conduct a Train. Because she is dead.

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Q: what is blue and floats in a pool? A: a baby Q: what is purple and at the bottom of the pool? A: the baby 5 minutes later

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Doctor Doctor i've got wind can you give me something? Thats not wind the doctor replies thats a rare form of stomach cancer.

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Why did 4 Christians, 2 Jews, 1 Muslim, 1 Buddhist and an atheist squeeze into a Honda Accord? One of their co-workers at Appleby's made a compelling case for the financial and environmental benefits of carpooling.

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Whats the difference between a quarter and a penny? 24 cents.

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womens rights

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Womens rights

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she had no arms... Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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What does a horse and a donkey have in common? They are both very different from trees

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer procrastinated fixing the latch on the coop. Did his wife warn him this would happen? Yessss! Did he listen? Noooo!

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don't make holocaust jokes, my grandfather died in the holocaust, he fell out of the birds nest shooting Jews.

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Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Whats worse being raped by jack the ripper or being fingered by captain hook

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops