Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

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woman..parallel parking

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How many of my Dad's "fishing buddies" have gone down to the basement for a "meeting", but never returned? 37 so far. I'm concerned. I seriously have never seen my dad fish. Pretty sure he doesn't own a fishing pole.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

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A dog walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "What can I get for you?" The dog replies "1 beer please." shocked at the dogs English the bartender sprints out of the bar in terror

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Lambos are red Tuxedos are Blue The cat is out of the bag Shit, we're all gonna die in helll

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Why is America so great? Because the continent is really large.

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— Knock knock. — Who's there? — Funny. — Funny who? — A funny joke.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

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Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

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What did Timmy say when the bus crashed? Nothing, it was a horrible crash, he died like everyone else. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Timmy.

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What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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what's the difference between me and callum ? a couple of miles.... and id like to keep it that way

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What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? A godless abomination that violates every ethical standard known to man.

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Why did the horse go to the doctor? It had a heart disease.

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What do you call an Englishman, an Irishman and a Chineseman playing football? 3 friends playing their favourite sport.

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Good afternoon.

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R: Caught my wife cheating the other night. P: You bitter? R: Yes. I am.

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What did the boy eat for lunch? - His mother.

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heads up!

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WEED!

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whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy on the road? there is skid marks leading up to the dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops