What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

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knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

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the world is made out of 4 things. protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons

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why couldnt helen keller drive she was a woman

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i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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Why did the little girl cry in school? Because she remembered her parents were both in prison. She is in a state run foster academy.

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drew edminstin is a rat

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she cant use it, she is fat.

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Isn't a coincidence that the signing of the Declaration of Independence and the 4th of July are on the same day? Weird

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What do you call a bunch of black people hanging out in a barn? African American farmers socializing.

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How do you make a businessman cry? Shoot him in the kneecaps.

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yo mumma is so smelly i can distictly smell her more than her perfume

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When Gronkowski spikes the ball, 20 children die.

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how many pancakes does it take to get fat if u answered this question your already fat

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I'm an old man with Alzheimer's. Ok I'm going to tell you a little story. Well i was walking down the road bout 36 sum odd years ago and the next thing i knew i was........... Hmmm.... i wonder whats in the fridge...

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no hands.

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RUN

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who's getting there balls chopped off by lilly? Nemo

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Whats the difference between a lemon and an ant? They're both yellow except for the lemon.

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Q: A plane crashes on the boarder of Mexico and America, where do you bury the survivors. A: You don't because there were none, everyone fucking died!

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A Mexican walked into a bar. He never came back out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops