What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is something I love to eat, the other is a watermelon.

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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What's worse than slipping on a bannana peel? The Gestapo. Go to Aushwitz now.

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An Irish man walks out of a bar..... 'nuff said

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Call of Duty Infinite Warfare

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Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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What do you call a black person driving a plane? A pilot, because you dont want to call him anything racist i mean he is driving you up 25,000 ft in the air and the last thing you want is for him to get mad and decide to do something rational, God, you racists.

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How did the retarded, blind child win the Special Olympics? He didn't, he died of terminal lung cancer the year before. R.I.P.

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Two guys went to a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure" said the guys. The bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? (when you are done start reading from the top again, and don't stop ever)

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I'M JOSH BROWN!!!!!

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What is not a crocodile? The teenage mutant ninja turtles

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

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what kind of person would you call dumb the ones who read anti jokes

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come.

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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Whats worse than spilling ketchup on your shirt? Getting hit by a bus

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Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

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A man who was not blind, but could not see, walks around a metal bar, and proceeds to the bar, where he walks into the door without opening it first

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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