Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

seven guys rob a bank, they share it in this ratio 2:2:2:4:2:5:2 who got the most money? you don't know

What did the orphan get for christmas? Glaucoma.

Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

What did the cop say to the black man being arrested? His Miranda rights.

Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? His health was dwindling ever since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago and this looked like the end.

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

Whats worse than than falling in a puddle on the way to a meeting? Getting shot while your at that meeting.

What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

What is the difference between a lion and a tiger? A lion ,on average, weighs 31 kilograms more.

Whats green and red, in a ditch, and has cookie crumbs all over it. The girl scout i ran over with my car.

Neither have I

what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

why did the chicken cross the bread? because chicken salad

Why did the black man walk into a bar? To order a drink.

This one time at band camp music was played.

a chicken walks into terry's house he penetrates himn

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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