Roses are red violets are green i can't rhyme bridge

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Benjamin Frankin was playing with his Xbox...

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It's raining it's poring the old man died die to a sudden increase in blood pressure thus leading to a heart attack

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? It's funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small.

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A chicken crossed the road and the farmer said, "Where the hell is that chicken going!?"

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What did the jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? Because aspirin is a man-made drug derived from salicylic acid, and it it is this that is extracted from willow bark, which used to be used by Cherokee Americans as a fever-reducer and pain-reliever.

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2 doctors are talking to each other? -Dead? -Dead.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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Why was the black man forced off of the roller coaster He had heart disease

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what did the tomato say when he was cut open? nothing, because vegetables are unable to speak

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An irish man walks into a bar. He drinks responsibly, and leaves shortly afterward.

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Why did the man walk into the bar? To purchase alcoholic beverages ready for consumption.

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What's 9 + 10 19

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How did Mario finally defeat Bowser? He took Steriods

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What do you do with a baby with a broken jaw? Deepthroat.

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What's the easiest way to load dead babies into a tractor trailer? Pitchfork.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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What's black and white and red all over? An embarrassed skunk.

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hey im leon and i love the chuckie

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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What do you call a man with a knife in his back? An ambulance

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why did the chicken cross the road? regardless of the fact his job at kfc was there, he felt that exercise was need to work off is thighs

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Alice? Childhood Alice? I did not recognize you! Its so nice to hear from you again! I would not worry too much about Nero`s shouting at night dear friend, while he has overcome a lot, he suffers from nightmares and nightterrors, its not pain, not physical at least, please do not tell him I told you, he prefers sparing people the details. Should I type as If I am typing to Nero? Sorry, I am just a bit flustered, Nero has never been the romantic type, not towards me at least... I know the "official chatting hours are over, but can I ask you or rather him to stay on a bit longer?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops