What happens if you fell off a 600 foot cliff? You die.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did it die Nothing died

thumb_up thumb_down -10

IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

People Eating Tasty Animals

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A dog walks into a bar. the owner of the bar didn't allow animal in his bar and he helped the dog outside again

thumb_up thumb_down -10

suck my balls mr.garison

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is long and black? The line at KFC

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Is it possible to mix an answer to a question with another? No. Aids are perfect for fear training.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock Who's there? Be Be who? Be yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -12

If an aeroplane falls from 15,000 feet in the air and crashes into and orphanage is it possible that no-one will get hurt? No,the aeroplane will destroy the orphange hurting the property value.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what does a beer and a priest have in common? They both are cold refreshing beverages, except for the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats fat round and bouncing off the ground= George goodburn

thumb_up thumb_down -12

There once was an old lady who lived in shoe. She had so many children, her uterus fell out.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

They say Jesus Christ walked on water and that humans are made up of 70% water...... So if I walk on babies, am I 70% Jesus?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how do you delete your joke off anti-joke? you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did death say to life? Go die

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than finding a snake in your apple? Finding a snake in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red Violets are blue Deez nuts Ha goteem

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -12

knock knock who's there ?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Decode this; Hetay owcay aidsay oomay. Answer: ummmmm.... Let me think....ummm, does anybody speak pig latin?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops