Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I now pronounce you man and lion. You may now kiss the pride.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you make a lumberjack cry? By murdering his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Your mom is so poor that she can't even pay attention.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why did John fall off his bike I don't know I was not there it was a rumor at school

thumb_up thumb_down +23

"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the gorcery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: What did the Jewish man find when he turned on his shower? A: gas

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what is worse than tripping over a tree root? getting mauled by a 60 foot bear

thumb_up thumb_down +23

This is a haiku. Not a very good haiku, But still a haiku.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A: A pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A young blonde walks into a bar and orders a shot of tequila. After about a few minutes she spots this very ugly man with one leg. The man just so happens to sit right next to her and orders a drink. The man reeks of cockroaches and he looks like a homeless man that hasn't bathed in months. They never talk and the blonde goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: Why did the Unicorn cross the road? A: It didn't Unicorns are fictional creatures.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops