Why did Little Suzie fall off her bike? I hit her with a shovel. Why did little Suzie die? I hit her with a shovel and she fell off her bike.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

An Irish man walks into his home and orders a drink.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

Your dad is so abusive that he hurts you when he losses his temper

A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a car

What did the Mexican say when a house fell on him? Nothing. He's dead.

So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

I have the answer to why the child stepped on a ball-he was dumb

Knock knock come in.

what's the difference between a male and female skeleton? The jaw bone structure

Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

what did the boy with dyslexia get for his birthday? bad grades

Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

A blonde was drinking water from the water fountain. She was very thirsty.

A man walks into a bar. He backs up, unwraps it, and enjoys its chocolatey deliciousness.

How did th-A fridge.

What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

Your face is hilarious.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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