What's black, white and red and can't turn round in corridors? A nun with a spear through her head

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How did the girl get her Mardi Gras beads? She purchased them at a reasonable price from a party store.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

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How many rats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be really small.

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Why was the man burying his child? because in france, fishing is only allowed 3 times a day

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69

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in water? Drowning

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What do you call a black man with pantyhose on his head. A white guy in the dark with black pantyhose on his head

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http://suckmytriforce.tumblr.com

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a doctor came into the room after receiving a woman's test results for lung cancer. the woman says, "is it negative or positive doctor?" the doctor looks at the woman and says, "it's negative, congratulations."

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Justin Bieber

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by Osama.

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what's worse than than finding a worm up your ass? Death

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What was big and stiff A 30cm ruler

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If you're riding on a jet ski and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a car? Blue. Because Ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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What do u do when life gives u lemons?? Eat them

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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Why can't february march Because april may

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One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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What did Stevie Wander get for christmas? A book

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What doesn't kill you and doesn't make you stronger? Aids

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Two crabs are standing on a wall. One of them falls down. The second one's name is Georges.

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Why is Keven's name spelled with an E Because his parents are black.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he (assuming he bears male reproductive organs) saw some corn on the other side (using the light rays refracted primarily by his cornea onto the retina) which is his staple diet as he is a herbivorous chicken. As corn is the producer of the food chain in question and the chicken is the primary consumer, a fox being the secondary and an angry farmer being the tertiary, he needs to ingest this food source in order to obtain the glucose required to produce adenosine triphosphate by the process of aerobic respiration in the mitochondria of his chicken cells. Thus, the chicken crossed the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops