A: "Knock knock." B: "Who's there?" A: "John Doe." B: "John Doe who?" A: "..."

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Roses are green,violets are blue,i'm high as ****,is that perfume or glue?

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A black man walks Into a bar.

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A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

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A lawyer met with his client and said.. well, there is some good news and some bad news The bad news is that you're going to prison for life.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's drivers license had been revoked for all of it's DWI's.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? Because she is enjoying the meal her husband has prepared for her after a long day at her second full-time job of the day

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I like my wine just like how I like my woman 5 years old and in my basement.

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Why don't you see elephants find in trees? Because most trees can't hold an elephants weight.

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Wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah

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What did Hitler say to his empire, A lot of stuff that I am to lazy to look up, all i know that the holocaust was bad and we shouldn't repeat it.

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Your momma is so old that she might die soon!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. So is my eye. I get abused.

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What is three times more dangerous than war? Three Wars.

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What do you call an Asian man in a car? A motorist.

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What's the difference between a lesbian and a Pringle ? One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker.

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a jewish guy walks in to a bar says to the bartender says "I have aids" and the jewish man replys "my bad"

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A man walks into a bar. He gets drunk, goes home, and beats his wife and kids.

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What did the the White blood cell say to the bacteria? Nothing. Its a cell. It goes through phagocytosis.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he has no sense of living and no muscles to move.

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what do you call an albino brown bear a polar bear

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? None, for the task at hand is so simple, you should do it.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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Why didn't the boy drop his ice cream He was hit by a bus and he wasn't eating ice cream

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops