why did graeme go to olivias house to do fun things

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Whats black and runs really fast? Usain Bolt

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Why didn't john go to school? He has terminal cancer and he must stay at hospital

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Why didn't the family finish their picnic? Because a dog was sick all over the food.

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Q: what's blue and kills you when it falls from the sky? A: a whale no shit

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Why did the Quantum chicken cross the road? It was already on both sides.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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What did batman say to robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? You're mom. It's your.

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A man walks into a bar, he purchases a drink from the barman proceeds to finish the drink and then leaves.

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Stop me if you heard this one before.

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Your mama's so fat, she can't even find clothes that fit her well.

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Q: Why did Suzie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock-knock? Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Knock Knock Who is there? *bang* The following story depicts the life and death of Bob:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________then he opened the door and was shot in the face.

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Where can I find a good Prostitute? Your Parents House.

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What's brown, black, and red all over? The burning cross on the lawn of a respectable African-American family.

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Why is Timmy a dumbass ? He's not, because asses cannot, by definition, be intelligent, so it is unnecessary to qualify it as "dumb".

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How types of people are there? One, we are the only homo sapiens.

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100 chefs walk into a bar

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What's the difference between a car tyre and 365 used condoms? One is a Goodyear. The others a fucking great year!!! San2

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by jimmy savile.

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What's not funny? Today's anti-joke writers

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Q: Why did the cow cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops