Bigfoot, Santa, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde all jump off of a cliff. They all reach terminal velocity and at impact at the same time. However, no one really cares.

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Roses are red, Violets are Violets. Screw this poem. Potato.

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "I'm not feeling to good doc." and the doctor says "Thats because you have a fatal brain tumor and probably don't have too long to live."

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? Nothing at all, except the WNBA is professional basketball players of the female sex.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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How do you greet a small mexican man at Chuck E. Cheese? Whatsup Jose

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What do you say to a black guy who is holding a gun to your head? Nothing. He is holding a gun to your head.

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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What you do if you poo out a slug? Eat it.

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Adele Gordon walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' Because she is a horse lol.

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Q: What does a baby and an old man have in common? A: They both pee in public

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what happens when you throw a rock in the water? it gets wet

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What's better than getting second place in the paralympics? Having legs.

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A school bus full of orphans falls of a cliff.

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What do you call a Black person in a city with high crime rates? Whatever their name happens to be.

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Knock Knock Who's there? (Pause) Who's there? Hello? Bloody kids

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When life gives you lemonade, give life lemons and it'll be like WTF?!

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Three baby seals walk into a club...

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why did jenny fall off the swing? because she had no arms Knock Knock Whos there? not jenny

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what did the little boy say when the teacher asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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Why did the Mexican jump of the roof? Because he had a serious meth addiction that was destroying his family and he could not live with the awful things he did to get his fix.

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someone has been eating my cornflakes,oh well cheerios instead.

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whats hard long and has cum in it cucumber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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