Why do sea guls fly over the sea? In order to get from place to place, flying is much faster than walking. Sea guls live on a diet of salt-water fish, and the ocean is where their main food supply subsides.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the homeless man not get any ice cream from the store? Because he was not very bright and didn't try in school. Therefore he couldn't find a job or get his job back at the janitor at Go-Mart. This proves that not doing your school work correct can really effect your future. Plus they was sold out of chocolate.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Sally cross the street? Because someone was gonna rape her if she didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: If Alma have 4 corners..? A: Then there must be something wrong with Alma...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How can you get a hot girl to notice you? Set her baby on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Once upon a time, there was a horse that had no legs, it laid on the ground it's entire life and died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What does the funeral director say at a jewish funeral? Ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

*Knock, Knock* Who's there? George. George who? George Ronald.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock ... Guess they aren't home.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBSSSSSSSS!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

roses are red violets are blue i'm allergic to pollen achoo

thumb_up thumb_down +8

An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's Red and Invisible? No Tomatos

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did jesus REALLY say while walking on water? "I really hope I find a nice patch of sand to swim in."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock. Who's there? Scott Scott who? Scott Henderson. Oh my god Scotty! I haven't seen you since highschool, please come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops