Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Chrismas? A: Cancer

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How do you kill a bunch of flies in one swat? Smack an African kid in the face.

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Jose gutierrez is a gay fish.

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Why did little Lisa fall off the swings? She had no arms

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roses are red, violets are violet.

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because the paint used on their faces makes the extra terrestrials leery of lead poisoning.

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Do you like apples? Yes

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1: Knock knock. 2: Who's there? 1: Boo. 2: Please do come on in Boo, its so lovely to see you!

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Did you hear about the mail man without a mail truck? He walked

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Q: What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A:One is fun to hit with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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If you are riding uphill in a canoe and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to fit in the dog house? None. Ice cream has no bones.

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Why didn't Hitler like steak? He was a vegetarian.

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Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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What would happen if hitler and winston Churchill was in a bar? The police will be called to take them away as there just laying there dead

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What did the murderer do to the dentist? Nothing, the murderer has served his time and is clean. But he did get his teeth cleaned.

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What is black, white and red all over? An interracial couple that has been shot and murdered.

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Why didn't the 12-year old boy eat his birthday cake? He has diabetes and would likely die from the increased spike in insulin.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

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Why does beonce say to the left, to the left. she doesnt she sings it.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

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Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops