Why did timmy's face turn red? Early that morning Timmy was brutally attacked by the local street gang which proceeded to smack timmy's face with a baseball bat and smearing the blood with a dirty rag.

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If a vegetarian only eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?

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There were two chippendales in a bar - what were their nicknames? Chip and Dale

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A man walks into a bar The bar now has a hole in it.

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4 men walk into a bar... Don't jump to conclusions! They were gay.

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A Mexican got stopped by the police. Turns out it was a mistake and the man lived a happy life in America

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Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

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why did the white man walk into the bar? He was thirsty

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Roses are Roses Violets are Violets I am to Literal, That is a statement.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Anti-Joke Delivery Service. Oh, just leave it by the door.

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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whats worse than sitting next to jack grindey nothing

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In other news, a Florida man was arrested today for stealing candy...with a knife.

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How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

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Bob: Hey Jim, what's up? Jim: Obviously the sky, oh and i see a few planes too. by the way why are you asking me why don't you just look up?

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Why did the black guy love his new shirt? Because it was 100% cotton

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The anti joke that repeats itself :(

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What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

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A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Go home and hang yourself.

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How did the black man cross the road after 5 years of trying to and getting hit by cars every time? some1 put KFC on the other side. MrBounty44

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An African-American man calls KFC. An employee answers. "Thank you for calling KFC." The man replies, "I'm sorry, I must have dialed the wrong number."

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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