What happens when you catch a cold? You sneeze whenever you stand up.

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What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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What's worse than an anti-joke about an anti-joke? The Holocaust

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What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

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I may have alzheimer's but at least I don't have alzheimer's.

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Why did the cashier let the jockey off 10 cents? because he was short 10 cents

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he thought he saw a dangerous predator in the area and crossed the road in an attempt to flee the dangerous situation.

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Is it true that curiousity killed the cat? No, I hit it multiple times with a baseball bat

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Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

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How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

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Two women get in the shower at the same time, because they both start work at 8:00am and have commutes of similar length.

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Guy 1: Ask me if I have a banana in my ear. Guy 2: Do you have a banana in your ear? Guy 1: Sorry I can't hear you I have a banana in my ear

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What do you get when you put a pig in an oven? A dead pig.

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Who's worse: Ghandi or Hitler Answer: Hitler

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Dos Equis took down chuck Norris

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Whats worse than getting raped by a monkey The fact that you actually got raped by a monkey

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Parent: Please, my son have sinned. Please cleanse him from his sins. Priest: Hmmm, it may be hard to cleanse him from his demons. You may leave him in my car today. We shall enter the dark chambers where we will battle your demons Parent: Thankyou Priest: Alone, in the dark. It will be painful for him, but he shall be cleansed *wink* Parent: whut?

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What did the black man say to the other black man? We both share the same ethnicity

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SCENE: A prirate walks into a bar with the wheel of the ship attached to his pants. BARTENDER: Doesn't that hurt? PIRATE: Aye! It drives me nuts.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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