knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

thumb_up thumb_down +2

SCENE: A prirate walks into a bar with the wheel of the ship attached to his pants. BARTENDER: Doesn't that hurt? PIRATE: Aye! It drives me nuts.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Black, det er geita, banke driten ut av Anders, han griner, dreper ikke, vil du ha telefonen eller? Jeg kommer med den litt senere, skal bare tørke blodet først pønsha han hardt i tryne blør ifra knyttnevene, skal jeg knekke bena på han eller noe? Geita. Ps Pen fitte har du flere bilder av a elle? Hvilket rom?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you call 2 walking Arabs with long beards? pedestrians.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because crossing through traffic is very dangerous

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it lacked the requisite musculature to facilitate locomotion

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is a haiku? Are they hard to come up with? Obviously not.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's frozen and eaten off a stick? Your dead uncle Norman

thumb_up thumb_down +2

cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the black man go to KFC? Ever since the economic downfall Kentucky Fried Chicken is the only remaining food dispensary in a 5 miles radius.......and hes black

thumb_up thumb_down +2

*knock knock* i have diarrhea

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you find out if your son is ok? Ask him.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Violoets are blue, I accidentally shat my pants. Brb

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? Nothing. He can't talk, just makes awful noises and hand gestures.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Friends are like lettuce; If you eat their head, they die

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops