How do you teach an asian baby to read? Enroll him in a good pre-school and practice regularly.

roses are red violet are blue what are you gonna do when chuck norris find you

Q: How do you fit 30 Jews in one car? A: Two in the front, two in the back, and the rest in the ash tray.

what did the boy who liked trucks get for his birthday? POOP

Why did Mark get paralyzed? Because he was a famed football player that went drafted for the 1st pick but was later hit so hard that his spine com pulsed and tore

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, chickens aren't capable of crossing roads without being involved in a car accident.

roses are read, violets are blue. i have alzheimers and Jill came tumbling down.

how much did the asian man pay for his operation? nothing. he's dead.

You can tell I have many friends because I got them to like this.

Where do you find a good lawyer? In the cemetary

ALCATRAZ IS REOPENED!

If i was a painting... Id hang myself

A man walked into a bar, He then realised that he was likely to become the butt of a joke quite soon and subsequently left to take his kids to the park.

Whats brown, large, thick, and sticky? a stick

why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

Cat ate a battery, did volts.

Sometimes when I'm horny, I put vinegar on my diick

Why did Billy fall off his bike? He tried to kill himself.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? *snicker* F*ck a duck.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

An anorexic women walks into McDonalds

Little Johnny asks his teacher "What's 23 times 3?" She yelled, "Be quiet, Johnny, and grow up!"

Why did the woman cross the road? To welcome the new neighbors.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...