Why did the mentally disabled child begin to cry? Because he shit himself

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What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

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what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

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Why did the boy eat the hedgehog? Because it made his mouth bleed,

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What do you get if you put 2 Korea, 2 Europeans and 2 North Americans together? TSM

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What is small, green, lives 10 meters under the ground and eat rocks? The little green rock eater!

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A mother is sitting with her son at the park. A nearby man suddenly breaks into uncontrollable coughing. The mother leans over to her son and whispers, 'Smoker's cough.' The son never takes up smoking.

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Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

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Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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Why did a little kid have a long face Because his face was stretched out by a truck wheel

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There is a black man and a Mexican in a car. Who's driving? The driver.

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Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

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I've got ninety-nine problems, all of them very diverse and possibly involving women.

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A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. A number is a mathematical object used to count and measure.It is not a living thing and therefore does not possess thoughts and feelings.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Have you ever seen that gay clown in asda.

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Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

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Steve Jobs Died today. So did 56 million other people.

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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